Fantasy Football 101

Of course i'm swamped at work and in the midst of being bogged down with work i had the itch to break down fantasy football for all the greenhorn's. Next to sex, then next to real football, there is *gasps* FANTASY FOOTBALL!!! Hands down one of the best inventions ever, like seriously, like ever. You don't have to be into football to know what you're doing, well that's a lie but i don't want to scare away any greenhorn's. I'm going to try and give a simple breakdown of the most basic type of league and hopefully who knows, after reading this you might want to join :-). I promise you, it's so much fun, great trash talking involved, and once you compete in one season you'll be hooked, like a crack addict to their pipe.

So the league i'm running there is no online draft, that's for my other league where only professionals are welcomed. Not only that, mega bucks are on the line. The league for fun is an auto draft (The computer picks your teams based on how you ranked players). So here is a breakdown of what you do once you've entered.

1. Make sure you rank your players. Yahoo has it setup where they even have a list of the top 25 players in the league, if you have no clue you can probably just copy theirs :-). If you want to take your own stab at it, then just go through the available list and find your players and put them in the rankings you want. The higher you rank a player the better the chances that you will get that player. You can rank up to as many players/defenses that you want.

2. Once you've ranked your players, make sure you hit the save button.

3. After you've saved your picks, then you want to make sure you change your draft status from non ready to ready. As soon as everybody in the league has changed it, we should get our teams in a few days.

Now once the season has started and you've got your players, you have to put in a little bit of work. You earn points based on how a real player that you have on your team performs on game day. If you have a quarterback that throw 2-4 interceptions in a game, chances are he won't get you that many points.

You will also have a bench where you can decide if you want to sit a player for that week, or play them. You can decide to play a player based on who the their team is playing and if it seems it will be a good day for that team etc. EX: If you have Reggie Bush as a running back and say Marion Barber. Reggie Bush's team is playing the Raiders, and say Marion Barber's team is playing the Giants. You would play Reggie Bush b/c the chances are 8yr olds can play better than the Raiders, and Reggie Bush will probably run over them. You would pass on Barber just because the Giants defense is smack down amazing and he might not get you that many points.

Have your team updated each week by at least 9am on a Sunday morning so that the competition can begin. It's all about having fun, and once you get the hang of it, it'll become your pipe until January. I hope i've done my best to break down the most awesome thing you'll ever experience. Have fun people, and one last thing

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL!!!!!

Reality TV and Me!!!!!

So i thought i would talk a little bit, or maybe a lot a bit about the other woman in my life. Well i'm not sure i would count her as the other woman, but the other something in my life besides my dog and my lady, and that is....reality tv. I swear that i'm so addicited that i think i really have a good idea of what addicts go through daily, this is my drug and i don't think i can leave it alone, ever. When i say that i'm going to give it up, another blasted show comes out, and like the fiend that i am, i must watch.

It all started out as just a little innocent habit really. There were so few shows that i watched that before tivo and dvr i made my plans based on what show was coming on tv. SMH.....I know, it's pathetic, but if you wanted me to go anywhere it HAD to be after 10, AND in the beginning i only could not go out on Thursday nights. Yes, i'm thankful for my tivo everyday. It all started with one show called Survivor. I have watched survivor from season 1, and i think it's now season 10 or 11, but i just can't help myself and it just never gets old. I started off with one reality tv show, and now i'm up to i can't even count. Well here is a run down of everything i watch/watched. Granted there are a few shows that i am so embarrassed to say i watch, but like i true addict i can't help myself and watch anyway. Okay so here goes my addiction list:

Survivor---Really if you're not watching this show, something is wrong with you.

Amazing Race---You must really be insane if you don't watch this.

Bachelor/Bachelorette---Okay so this is one of these shows where i sit and can't believe that i waste precious minutes of my life, but i keep coming back for more, i can't help it. I really won't say it's a must watch, but let me tell you the trick of how they get you to keep watching. So you'll watch one season of say the bachelor, and he gets down to the two girls, and one doesn't get picked, and it's usually America's favorite, then the next season of bachelorette, you know what they do???? You guessed it, they put the girl on that was not chosen, and then it's like well damn, how can i not watch, i feel like i know her. I'm sure producers are sitting there like ha, SUCKERS!!!

Flavor of Love--Alright another show that goes into my hall of shame. *hanging my head* Yes i watched all two, or three seasons of this jackassery, but again like the addict that i am, i just couldn't say no and turn the trash off. If i watched maybe one season i would not be so embarrassed but i watched all, and for that i don't know how i will ever forgive myself.

I love New York---Okay okay, i know you're probably saying this BS is getting ridiculous now. Well i agree with you. Another low in my life, and something i would just rather not talk about. Actually a good thing for me, is after they did her show when she moved somewhere to try and pursue her acting career, i watched one episode and said, okay enough is enough of this fiendry, no more. So i stopped watching, one small victory for me.

Real World---Let me just say, if you're still watching the real world, um you need to stop. Okay i watched this show for many seasons, and finally one day maybe after the Chicago season i said to myself, "self, why in the hell are you watching this, s#%@"? It go ridiculous, ignorant, and just damn near pointless. Victory number two for me!!!

Real World/Road Rules Challenge---Yes i watched this nonsense for a bit. Then one day, as the seasons kept changing and i kept seeing people from old seasons coming back, i said to myself again, "damn self, these crazy ass folks on here must really not have a job or a life". Maybe between the ages of 18-23 it's like okay nothing else to do, but some of the people on here were well into their late 20's to early 30's. Like seriously, you're going to play on a reality tv show for the rest of your life??? Victory number three for this stupidness.

Making the band---Puffy, Diddy, P.Combs, Daddy, mommy, teefus, whatever it is they call him now days, i watched. So i stopped watching when he put that Danity Kane nonsense together, but started watching again with the other whack group that's out which is Day 109 or something like that. Yeah season one i was into Babs, and Chopper, and Sara and Dylon and company, that was actually interesting tv, but Puff being the guy he is just didn't know when to stop. After the day 809 show, i said to self, "self, that's it". The other day, i was passing MTV and saw something that said Making his band, i don't know what it is, or who is running it, although i'm sure i have an idea, i refuse. Maybe one day i can get someone to walk to Brooklyn and get me some cheesecake from juniors, mmmm but for now Cheesecake Factory is just going to have to do. Victory number 4

College Hill---Yes i've long left the walls of college but since BET insists on taking every MTV reality tv show and doing it themselves, i decided to give this one a try. Let me just say, another guilty pleasure that i love, and i think i will watch this until it gets down right ridiculous. Actually it might just be there now. If you have not seen the Virgin Islands seasons, please got get it, it will not change your life or anything, but it will be sure to keep you entertained. This last season of Miami, was juicy, but all i have to say is Kyle, hope you working on that diet honey.

Hell's Kitchen----Been watching from day one, all i have to say is......Gordon Ramsey!!!! Get on this bandwagon you donkey's.

Top Chef---I can't cook, i burn boiling water, i hate the kitchen. I only go into the kitchen to eat, or find things that i don't have to prepare, ever. This show reaches out to my pallet, and gives me the edge to want to try new and different things. It really gives you a different appreciation of food, the process, and cooking as a whole. Must see tv right here. Padma, will you marry me?

Laguna Beach---Growing up in Malibu, i just had to watch. I was faithful from start to finish, and would do it all over again.

The Hills---Okay so maybe i have a secret crush on Lauren Conrad, but the show was entertaining and some of it was shot right in my own back yard. It wasn't the only reason i watched, i just got hooked, and never stopped.

Real Housewives of Atlanta---Drama, drama, and more drama. I hate drama, and watching this show makes me realize how much i do. It's also very entertaining and sad at the same time, that grown women are still acting this way, like seriously you guys are not in your 40's? With all that being said, i get my popcorn and watch faithfully. I'm still waiting on Sheree to marry me.

Real Housewives of New Jersey---So listen, if you haven't seen this season, go get it. Rich white women with too much money spells for good tv. Cant' wait for season two.

TO Show---So TO is one of my favorite players in the NFL and i feel he is so misunderstood by the Media. I was glad to see him do this, because everybody i talk to now is saying oh what a nice guy he is. Like #81 says, go get your popcorn!!!

Tiny & Toya--- *hanging my head in shame*.....one word....okay no i'll go with two words.....Country Bama!!!!!

Temptation Island---This was wayyyyy back, but of course like everything else that comes on tv, i watched it. I gave it two seasons and then said hell and no, this is just more jackassery upon jackassery. Why would you want to go on a show and get tempted by single individuals to prove to yourself that you can be faithful. Stupid as hell show, victory number 5.

As i'm writing this list, i can't believe the amount of reality tv i watch. I'm really shocked at this list, and i don't think i'm even close to being done. Writing this post is going to be an eye opener for me. Well, moving right along with the list:

Average Joe--So i watched this BS and i'm so embarrassed, sad, mad that i wasted my time with this BS. Never again, it went off the air, so not sure if this counts as a victory for me, but even if it didn't i would have stopped, so giving myself victory number 6.

Joe Millionaire----No words, except i should be allowed to punish myself for watching this garbage.

Meet the Barkers----Only because....only because....only because i have no clue why....SMH

Newlyweds---I thought Nick and Jessica were so cute, but i would have been watching if it was still on, i mean geesh

Run's House---Another proposal and the main reason i watched. Angela Simmons!!!! I stopped watching after last season, it's just not doing it for me anymore, or is it that Angela isn't doing it for me anymore?

Snoop Dogg's Fatherhood---Yes i watched this mess, and never again, straight up BS. Love ya Snoop but please don't do it again. Please and thank you!!!

Big Brother---Quite possibly one of the best reality tv shows on television. Trust me, i've been watching every season and i think it's on 10.....I doubt i'll ever stop, ever!!!!!

I survived a Japanese game show---- So OMG, by far this is up there with stupid shows, but i just can't get enough. If you're going to fly across the world to get made fun of, then i deserve to watch it happen to you!!! Enough said

I'm a celebrity get me out of here----UGGGGHHHHH waste of my time, so sad, so mad, ugggggh can't believe i watched this nonsense.

The apprentice----Loved this show when it was dealing with just ordinary people, now it's only celebs, and sorry Donald but you're fired, because you're done on my tube. Never, ever again!!!!

Dancing with the stars----Started watching this show after the first season and one of the best that is on television. Never was really into dance, but watching celebs minus all the drama, just learn difficult dance routines is really aspiring. I'll never put a gown on, but sometimes when i'm all alone i imagine that i'm dancing the waltz and well i'll stop there :-)

So you think you can dance----OMG great dancers, great judges, great producers, stupid host, great show!!!!

American Idol---I've been there from the beginning and i'll be there to the end, they're family, don't care what you all say.

Dating in the dark---So this is a new show that's maybe 4 episodes in, and i'm thinking about quitting. The premise is extremely retarded and i think victory 6 is on the rise

My name is Rane, and yes i have a problem!!!!

Why i hate cats!!!!

For a really long time i was extremely ashamed of admitting my fear of cats. Yes a grown ass woman afraid of whiskers. Well my fear of cats has snowballed into a deep rooted hatred that i don't think i will ever get over. My first encounter with a cat was around the age of 8 or 9. I was sitting on the porch of a friend and this cat was staring me down for what seems like eternity. I promise you it was the whole time, and at that time i had no problem with the cat. I honestly thought the cat just didn't like me and would at some point get up and leave. Of course i had no idea that my thought process was way off and this random moment would change my life forever.

So there i was minding my business on the porch, eyeing the cat, the cat eyeing me. I decided okay it's time to stop this madness i refuse to look at this cat, it's not like it's going to jump on me and attack me right??? WRONG??? I'm having a conversation and out of nowhere this cat screeches and leaps and i mean leaps from it's what i thought was a comfy spot on the porch into my lap and the next thing i know i'm screaming and yelling and jumping up and down, and trying to pry the cat off of me. My mind is going a thousand miles a minute, my heart is beating, my hands, and legs are shaking, i'm traumatized.

I don't know how the cat got off me, or if my friend took the cat, or if i tossed it off of me, but it's quite a blur even now. So after the incident i'm breathing hard and say to my friend your cat attacked me, her response, no she didn't, she was just being friendly......*stop the music* When does a cat jumping on an innocent bystander with no warning become friendly??? I tell her that she's crazy and so is her cat and decided i would never visit her or that porch again.

Many say Rane, that cat did not attack you!!! I say who the heck are you to tell me i wasn't attacked. You were not there, you don't know, i will say this today, tomorrow, and for eterninty, that damn cat attacked me!!!!!! So there starts my fear and hatred of cats.

They are so sneaky, you don't know how they're feeling because they show no freakin emotion, they never look happy, they jump out of nowhere, with no type of warning. Their backs freak me out, their eyes freak me out, they are silent killers who i believe are here to destroy the world. Yes i said it, cats are here to destroy us. They're really aliens, and we, well not me but you all let them in your homes, and are clueless. What do they do all day, when they're sneaking around and hissing at people? They are great attackers, they can sneak up on you and guess what people, YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW IT. They fake you out, and make you think they're angels and so cute, but all the while, they're here to take over the world.

My second incident with a cat came as a teenager. I decided to spend the night at a friends house and when i get over there she says oh i'm cat sitting. *stop the music* I turn around and say well it's cool i'm leaving. So she begs me to say and says she'll lock the cat up. I was convinced after i saw her put the demon spawn in the other bedroom and lock the door. We had a great night that night, just hanging out playing games etc. Of course went to sleep and morning came, and then the shit hit the fan.

So i'm enjoying my sweet sleep and can hear that the house is awake. My eyes are still closed and i thought to myself oh wow something feels extremely warm in the bed, i must have rolled on a warm spot or something. So i'm enjoying the waking up process when i open my eyes, and lo and behold yes ladies and gents that damn cat was freakin spooning with me!!!!! My reaction was quick, i touched the demon, picked it up, and threw it across the room, yes i said threw it. It made some loud obnoxious noise but i didn't care. I sat up quicly not realizing that i had touched the damn thing. Me, i actually touched it. They say you never know how you will react to things when you're afraid, well i threw the damn cat across the room and it hit the wall and then ran out of the bedroom. My friend came running in the room and asked what happened, and the second attack of the morning almost came, because i was really close to jumping on her and letting her see exactly how i felt.

So there it is folks, in black and white, my no longer fear, but now hatred of cats. I guess somewhere deep down i am still truly afraid, but i think there is more hatred than fear at this point. Like i said, i never enter anywhere there is a cat present. I have my reasons, and it really is never going to change. Why is it that everybody i meet that has a cat says the same nonsense to me.....Oh Rane my cat is different, you'll love my cat....*Stop the music*....no i won't, will not, never will, no chance in hell like your cat on any day. So all you cat lovers, you keep on your side of the universe and i'll stay on mine....until next time

The first but hopefully not the last!!!

So it has taken me forever and a day to attempt to start blogging. What is most ironic about this whole process is that i am not a talker at all. Some say hey blogging it's not talking, it's simply putting down all thoughts you have. I say to that well isn't that talking just not out loud? Whatever the case may be i'm trying it, i know i have strong opinions about things, and hey maybe this will help with the talking thing. Not only am i not a talker, i'm a terrible writer. I'm an engineer by day and a serious mute/TV junkie by night. With that combo, you can only be destined to be a terrible writer, but i'm going to try my best.