Why i hate cats!!!!

For a really long time i was extremely ashamed of admitting my fear of cats. Yes a grown ass woman afraid of whiskers. Well my fear of cats has snowballed into a deep rooted hatred that i don't think i will ever get over. My first encounter with a cat was around the age of 8 or 9. I was sitting on the porch of a friend and this cat was staring me down for what seems like eternity. I promise you it was the whole time, and at that time i had no problem with the cat. I honestly thought the cat just didn't like me and would at some point get up and leave. Of course i had no idea that my thought process was way off and this random moment would change my life forever.

So there i was minding my business on the porch, eyeing the cat, the cat eyeing me. I decided okay it's time to stop this madness i refuse to look at this cat, it's not like it's going to jump on me and attack me right??? WRONG??? I'm having a conversation and out of nowhere this cat screeches and leaps and i mean leaps from it's what i thought was a comfy spot on the porch into my lap and the next thing i know i'm screaming and yelling and jumping up and down, and trying to pry the cat off of me. My mind is going a thousand miles a minute, my heart is beating, my hands, and legs are shaking, i'm traumatized.

I don't know how the cat got off me, or if my friend took the cat, or if i tossed it off of me, but it's quite a blur even now. So after the incident i'm breathing hard and say to my friend your cat attacked me, her response, no she didn't, she was just being friendly......*stop the music* When does a cat jumping on an innocent bystander with no warning become friendly??? I tell her that she's crazy and so is her cat and decided i would never visit her or that porch again.

Many say Rane, that cat did not attack you!!! I say who the heck are you to tell me i wasn't attacked. You were not there, you don't know, i will say this today, tomorrow, and for eterninty, that damn cat attacked me!!!!!! So there starts my fear and hatred of cats.

They are so sneaky, you don't know how they're feeling because they show no freakin emotion, they never look happy, they jump out of nowhere, with no type of warning. Their backs freak me out, their eyes freak me out, they are silent killers who i believe are here to destroy the world. Yes i said it, cats are here to destroy us. They're really aliens, and we, well not me but you all let them in your homes, and are clueless. What do they do all day, when they're sneaking around and hissing at people? They are great attackers, they can sneak up on you and guess what people, YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW IT. They fake you out, and make you think they're angels and so cute, but all the while, they're here to take over the world.

My second incident with a cat came as a teenager. I decided to spend the night at a friends house and when i get over there she says oh i'm cat sitting. *stop the music* I turn around and say well it's cool i'm leaving. So she begs me to say and says she'll lock the cat up. I was convinced after i saw her put the demon spawn in the other bedroom and lock the door. We had a great night that night, just hanging out playing games etc. Of course went to sleep and morning came, and then the shit hit the fan.

So i'm enjoying my sweet sleep and can hear that the house is awake. My eyes are still closed and i thought to myself oh wow something feels extremely warm in the bed, i must have rolled on a warm spot or something. So i'm enjoying the waking up process when i open my eyes, and lo and behold yes ladies and gents that damn cat was freakin spooning with me!!!!! My reaction was quick, i touched the demon, picked it up, and threw it across the room, yes i said threw it. It made some loud obnoxious noise but i didn't care. I sat up quicly not realizing that i had touched the damn thing. Me, i actually touched it. They say you never know how you will react to things when you're afraid, well i threw the damn cat across the room and it hit the wall and then ran out of the bedroom. My friend came running in the room and asked what happened, and the second attack of the morning almost came, because i was really close to jumping on her and letting her see exactly how i felt.

So there it is folks, in black and white, my no longer fear, but now hatred of cats. I guess somewhere deep down i am still truly afraid, but i think there is more hatred than fear at this point. Like i said, i never enter anywhere there is a cat present. I have my reasons, and it really is never going to change. Why is it that everybody i meet that has a cat says the same nonsense to me.....Oh Rane my cat is different, you'll love my cat....*Stop the music*....no i won't, will not, never will, no chance in hell like your cat on any day. So all you cat lovers, you keep on your side of the universe and i'll stay on mine....until next time